two curious incidents

1Yesterday (by which I mean Friday) morning I awoke without an alarm clock. This in itself is curious but less so when it is added that it was rather late in the day. The true element of intrigue occurred when I reached for my clock to see exactly how late I was. Half-blindly groping the spot on my bedside desk where my clock often lounges I found an unusually empty bit of desk. My clock was nowhere to be found. I am quite sure it was there the night before, and I have yet to discover its whereabouts. This will become even more interesting on Monday when it might be desirable for me to appear at work before everyone else leaves.

2This evening as I was walking home I saw a man get hit by a car. There was the usual melodramatic screeching of tires, a slight thud (at which point I turned my head to see the event unfolding) followed by a cry from a woman standing at the corner. This was no light tap - the man was thrown upward past the hood onto the windshield. Having been prepared for this exact moment by years of television, I knew exactly what would happen next. The poor man would slam forward to his demise as the errant vehicle speeds away cackling.

However, it turns out that not all events on television are entirely accurate. The man in reality rather gracefully rolled off the car onto his feet put his hands in the air, and shouted "I'm ok! Don't worry!" then picked up a few things that had fallen out of a plastic bag he was carrying, and walked back to the corner to wait for the rest of the oncoming traffic to pass. I stared for a little while thinking there may just be some sort of a delay before he collapsed on the sidewalk, but nothing of the sort happened.

I am beginning to doubt the disturbingly large portion of my education endowed by televisory means.